No – but someone else may be nearby to help (shouter off-frame in the last frame), and that bike thief may not be very fit – he’s sweating a LOT. Although that could be spit…
Poke him in the eye, pull his hood down over his face, SCREAM BLUE MURDER! If you have to, bite him. (Hopefully his friends are close by still–they’re kids, but three against one, when he’s handicapped by trying to hold onto the bike. . .)
Someone else’s blood in your mouth over property is a risk too far. I’m all for self defence, and I include “property” in the definition of “self” there – but risking hep, HIV or whatever over any bike I can imagine owning would be WAY more than I’d be willing to risk.
Shudder.
On the other hand – no amount of violence is too much in defence against an attack like that.
FWIW everyone, there was a show in tonight called “What Would You Do”. I dunno if this is why this theme started, but if you get the chance, check it out b/c it says a lot about social and interpersonal behaviors.
While a mace isn’t as effective as a flail, especially against bike thieves with full body armor, I find that the spiked ball of a flail keeps stabbing me in the leg every time I hit a pothole. Sure, a flail is lighter, but a traditional medieval mace still only weighed between 1.5 to 3 pounds. For any type of riding that isn’t racing, the marginal loss of speed caused by a few extra pounds is largely irrelevant. And yes, a mace will fit snugly in the bike pump holder; but don’t buy the Planet Bike Mace. That 30% of revenue being donated to bicycle advocacy comes right out of their quality control costs, and it’ll fall apart on the first bike thief head it strikes. I recommend a SKS Mace. The Germans have been making maces since, like, forever.
The problem with a truncheon is that whenever you try to use one everything gets all black and white and flickery, ragtime music comes on, you become a bumbling idiot and the bad guys always get away.
I hear that Pashley includes a special “continental style” bracket just for carrying this accessory on their frames. When loaded onto the bracket, it only adds 1 percent to the overall combined weight of the bicycle and rider.
How can you tell what kind of tires are on Chunkbait’s bike? Once mounted there’s no reliable way of knowing. And what does the type of tire bead have to do with the strip?
May be odd to some of y’all, but many riders around here carry a gun(by permit or as part of their job) so if someone wants my bike, they get met by mr. 1911
Oh, I support the 2nd Amendment. What I don’t support is encouraging a delusional fantasy that “many” cyclists in any state are riding with CCW permits, as part of their jobs or otherwise. A few freaks here and there? Maybe. And while I love the idea of many plain-clothes cops riding around at-risk areas while packing, we all know police are more the lycra types, and there’s just nowhere to pack.
Do you somehow think the language of the Second Amendment compels people to carry guns on bicycles? Oh my! I guess I’m stupid (and maybe Russian, too!)
Perhaps you also think the 19th Amendment requires all voters to have sex (or perhaps be celibate? or maybe be women?
I understand that Dahon had a BioLogic integrated suspension seatpost “special” model that never took off. It was available in a low production pantographed version branded as Surly. Problem was, when when you hit a large bump that exceeded the travel length… let’s just say it was an extra rebound. I think it was recalled before Trek had a chance to use it on their new carbon drive city bikes.
I remember reading, in a book by one of the early writers from Bicycling magazine, about how drivers always gave him a wide berth when he was riding to the range with his rifle over his shoulder. At other times, not so much. Said that proved to him that drivers saw cyclists without difficulty, they just didn’t care.
I’m not advovating open carry on a bike (it’s illegal and unnecessary here anyway) but yes, it would get you more respect.
That rings true… I was known to target practice with a crossbow in southern Oregon as a teen. I’d ride with the thing cocked, but not loaded. Motorists gave me a lot of room on those mornings.
Zero point zero zero problems in a lifetime of cycling? I find that hard to believe. Except maybe in Amsterdam.
As I said I don’t avocate it or think it’s necessary. The point is, people who ride with visible firearms do report a difference in how drivers treat them.
In the 1960′s, studies were done on various portions of the male population to try and explain and earn more about XYY Syndrome. Though said to be proven incorrect in the years fallowing, the studies “showed” males with the extra “Y” chromosome where of the 5’11″ height range and were more likely to be violent criminals. Besides just being criminals of course, other effects such as excessive acne were reported. Which might explain why the current thief is fully covered by cloths (he’s embarrassed). I would personally assume being particulerly hair might also play a role. but over all maybe these studies hold some truth after all.
And yes, “syndromes” involving extra chromosomes do exist; I am XYY, though I am not a violent criminal.
I’d rather lose my life than my courage and giving in to a thief would be giving away my courage. it’s not about the object, but about giving in to violence. Besides, they rarely take your life, usually they just injure you.
you seem to have just one courage and many lifes. for me its vice versa .. got plenty of courage to spend and since i got several bikes i’d even think about spending my courages on better occasions..
Also, if you get a good look at him, you’re a witness, so he’ll want to eliminate you. Hence, you might as well fight, as he’s going to try to kill you anyway.
I think that having some kind of fully automatic, yet light, weapon strapped to your back would both dissuad people from attempting to take your bike and would also ensure they gave you a much larger margin when passing. And seeing as they can make really convincing replicas, you could likely have it made out of something like foam to be real light. Wouldn’t work but would the same kind of deterrant as one of those “monitored by Brinks” signs in the front yard.
Toy guns need a bright orange tip on the muzzle to be legally transported. If you make a fake that isn’t obviously a fake you might get in more trouble than you would with a real rifle.
This is NOT Good!
No – but someone else may be nearby to help (shouter off-frame in the last frame), and that bike thief may not be very fit – he’s sweating a LOT. Although that could be spit…
: P
I’m guessing that sweat is from opiate withdrawal.
Or from wearing a hoodie in 90 degree weather.
someone said something about crying wolf?
Kick him in the shins! Stomp on his instep!
It only takes about 15 lbs of pressure to shatter a human kneecap, and nobody is going to chase you very far or very fast with a broken kneecap.
(Brown belt, kempo.)
Poke him in the eye, pull his hood down over his face, SCREAM BLUE MURDER! If you have to, bite him. (Hopefully his friends are close by still–they’re kids, but three against one, when he’s handicapped by trying to hold onto the bike. . .)
Bite? Not over a bike.
Not a chance!
Someone else’s blood in your mouth over property is a risk too far. I’m all for self defence, and I include “property” in the definition of “self” there – but risking hep, HIV or whatever over any bike I can imagine owning would be WAY more than I’d be willing to risk.
Shudder.
On the other hand – no amount of violence is too much in defence against an attack like that.
Oh noes – it’s the *evil* Bike Ninja!
Thats not the Ninja, not by any means.
FWIW everyone, there was a show in tonight called “What Would You Do”. I dunno if this is why this theme started, but if you get the chance, check it out b/c it says a lot about social and interpersonal behaviors.
This is why I never ride without my Mace.
Doesn’t riding around with a steel reinforced club slow you down?! And where do you stash it, in a bike pump holder?
While a mace isn’t as effective as a flail, especially against bike thieves with full body armor, I find that the spiked ball of a flail keeps stabbing me in the leg every time I hit a pothole. Sure, a flail is lighter, but a traditional medieval mace still only weighed between 1.5 to 3 pounds. For any type of riding that isn’t racing, the marginal loss of speed caused by a few extra pounds is largely irrelevant. And yes, a mace will fit snugly in the bike pump holder; but don’t buy the Planet Bike Mace. That 30% of revenue being donated to bicycle advocacy comes right out of their quality control costs, and it’ll fall apart on the first bike thief head it strikes. I recommend a SKS Mace. The Germans have been making maces since, like, forever.
two words: Luddite Truncheon
The problem with a truncheon is that whenever you try to use one everything gets all black and white and flickery, ragtime music comes on, you become a bumbling idiot and the bad guys always get away.
Alternatively, I’m not sure how a less bitter type of nutmeg is particularly going to help you in this situation…
: P
This conversation = why i bother reading the comments everyday
I hear that Pashley includes a special “continental style” bracket just for carrying this accessory on their frames. When loaded onto the bracket, it only adds 1 percent to the overall combined weight of the bicycle and rider.
But it is effective. I’ve never, ever had anyone steal my Pashley.
That’s because you’re attached to it.
He who cries ‘Wolf’…
Stokely to the rescue?
Foot cream coupons… I love those silly details so much in the cartoon.
How come mousing over the coupons doesn’t reveal the name of the foot cream manufacturer?
probably because without the use of the bike, he’s going to need something extra to prevent plantar callouses.
Kevlar Bead strikes again?
How can you tell what kind of tires are on Chunkbait’s bike? Once mounted there’s no reliable way of knowing. And what does the type of tire bead have to do with the strip?
Amy be odd to some of y’all…but this rider is almost always armed…if you want my bike you better be ready to see the nasty end of my 45.
Amy does indeed seem odd. Considering such, I’m not sure why you feel threatened by her.
where do you stick this end usually so it gets nasty ?
maybe Amy knows? she sure does sound odd alright.
May be odd to some of y’all, but many riders around here carry a gun(by permit or as part of their job) so if someone wants my bike, they get met by mr. 1911
*rolling eyes*
Yay to the Second Amendment!
Oh, I support the 2nd Amendment. What I don’t support is encouraging a delusional fantasy that “many” cyclists in any state are riding with CCW permits, as part of their jobs or otherwise. A few freaks here and there? Maybe. And while I love the idea of many plain-clothes cops riding around at-risk areas while packing, we all know police are more the lycra types, and there’s just nowhere to pack.
There are more out there than you might think. And, that is a good thing.
Must be hard to live in self-inflicted fear all the time or, alternatively, with such feelings of inadequacy.
“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
Jesus, woman. Are you stupid or are you Russian?
Do you somehow think the language of the Second Amendment compels people to carry guns on bicycles? Oh my! I guess I’m stupid (and maybe Russian, too!)
Perhaps you also think the 19th Amendment requires all voters to have sex (or perhaps be celibate? or maybe be women?
Odd indeed… Unless your gun is a model made from something light, carbon-fiber, titanium, whatever.
I understand that Dahon had a BioLogic integrated suspension seatpost “special” model that never took off. It was available in a low production pantographed version branded as Surly. Problem was, when when you hit a large bump that exceeded the travel length… let’s just say it was an extra rebound. I think it was recalled before Trek had a chance to use it on their new carbon drive city bikes.
If you had one, visibly displayed on your hip … my guess is drivers would be more polite.
I know one who does. He has few problems.
I’m not sure I’d agree!
I remember reading, in a book by one of the early writers from Bicycling magazine, about how drivers always gave him a wide berth when he was riding to the range with his rifle over his shoulder. At other times, not so much. Said that proved to him that drivers saw cyclists without difficulty, they just didn’t care.
I’m not advovating open carry on a bike (it’s illegal and unnecessary here anyway) but yes, it would get you more respect.
That rings true… I was known to target practice with a crossbow in southern Oregon as a teen. I’d ride with the thing cocked, but not loaded. Motorists gave me a lot of room on those mornings.
i know plenty who dont and have no problems at all.
Zero point zero zero problems in a lifetime of cycling? I find that hard to believe. Except maybe in Amsterdam.
As I said I don’t avocate it or think it’s necessary. The point is, people who ride with visible firearms do report a difference in how drivers treat them.
depends on what you call a problem. guess you shoot red lights ?
Yawn… the only people who brag about their guns are people who don’t own any. Go read soldier of fortune and rub one off.
Why do bad guys always have hairy hands? Is there some connection I don’t want to know about?
My hands are pretty hairy… Maybe I’m destined for evil?
In the 1960′s, studies were done on various portions of the male population to try and explain and earn more about XYY Syndrome. Though said to be proven incorrect in the years fallowing, the studies “showed” males with the extra “Y” chromosome where of the 5’11″ height range and were more likely to be violent criminals. Besides just being criminals of course, other effects such as excessive acne were reported. Which might explain why the current thief is fully covered by cloths (he’s embarrassed). I would personally assume being particulerly hair might also play a role. but over all maybe these studies hold some truth after all.
And yes, “syndromes” involving extra chromosomes do exist; I am XYY, though I am not a violent criminal.
Some would argue the violent criminal part…. Big hammer, thunder, etc. Pretty intimidating, actually.
Homage of Chester Gould.
Look at the title: the thief is the Big Bad Wolf… So he has to be hairy.
I love my bike. But in the end it is replaceable. My life is not. If someone threatens violance for my bike, they can have it.
I’d rather lose my life than my courage and giving in to a thief would be giving away my courage. it’s not about the object, but about giving in to violence. Besides, they rarely take your life, usually they just injure you.
you seem to have just one courage and many lifes. for me its vice versa .. got plenty of courage to spend and since i got several bikes i’d even think about spending my courages on better occasions..
meaningless
Also, if you get a good look at him, you’re a witness, so he’ll want to eliminate you. Hence, you might as well fight, as he’s going to try to kill you anyway.
I’ll be ’round to your place, shortly, and you’d better watch out or I’ll…
I was really hoping Rick would include a hyper-link to a great deal on foot cream. None such luck today…
cyclists usually dont need foot cream.. they tend to cream other body parts
Lots of cyclist use Bag Balm in the cubical green tin box. Don’t know why foot cream would not be effective crotch lube.
I think that having some kind of fully automatic, yet light, weapon strapped to your back would both dissuad people from attempting to take your bike and would also ensure they gave you a much larger margin when passing. And seeing as they can make really convincing replicas, you could likely have it made out of something like foam to be real light. Wouldn’t work but would the same kind of deterrant as one of those “monitored by Brinks” signs in the front yard.
Toy guns need a bright orange tip on the muzzle to be legally transported. If you make a fake that isn’t obviously a fake you might get in more trouble than you would with a real rifle.
Push toward the theif. He’s off balance. You and the bike can fall on top of him.
Then use those biker’s thighs and kick the living sbot out of him,
Karma…coming back to bite Chunk right in the cheeks!
Huh? Ruckus already out of jail?
Which character do we know that wears glasses…or is the thief wearing a Groucho disguise?